Physics at home

You know the toy with the three or four stacked bouncy balls (with a rod through their centers, to keep them in line)? You drop it, and all the energy of the collision(s) goes back into the top bouncy ball, and it rebounds WAY high in the air, leaving the others on the ground.

It turns out a cylindrical container of viscous fluid behaves much the same way. Before you even realize you've knocked the yogurt off the table, the top three tablespoons of it are shooting straight up at you like slingshotted pink goo.

The paranoid reading of this incident is that the strawberry yogurt (or is it Bat Jr. ? hmm...) is out to get me, as almost none of the yogurt got on the carpet, instead landing direct hits on

1. my head (from above)
2. my mobile phone and
   
3. a lovely long streak on both pant legs.
   

How many shots were fired? Where's Zapruder when you need him?